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one thorough hippo

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(roman gods were kind of crap)

[01 Oct 2004|09:47am]

(16 worshipped jeff, the god of biscuits | roman gods were kind of crap)

[28 Sep 2004|04:07pm]
dear ruth,

everything that eli told you that we said is absolutely 100% true. we hate you. each and every one of us. and you know why? because you're a goddamn idiot. if you still like eli as much as you say you do, then do him a favor and GO AWAY. you did nothing but make his life worse, whether it be his grades, his social life, or his life at home. if you can prove me otherwise, by all means, go ahead. but you can't. because you said shit like "hey FUCK YOU" to his MOTHER'S FACE. and you know what? lynne is crazy. she is weird. she has her issues. BUT SHE WAS STILL YOUR BOYFRIEND'S MOTHER. YOU DON'T DO THAT. you didn't help eli with his homework. instead you would stay up with him all night complaining about homework which ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm didn't help. at all!!

but enough about eli. if he wants to think that you're better than all of us are, so be it. i'll talk to him when he's regained his sanity.

so, back to you. aside from your lovely personal hygiene habits, like eating your snot and having the ability to straighten your hair so that it strangely resembles pubes, you're really, really, REALLY stupid. marygrace never really wanted to be friends with you. well, okay, maybe at one point, but what the hell ever made you think that after meeting twice, the two of you were bestest buddies? by leaving idiotic comments in her journal or something? come on. also, nobody gives a shit about your uncle having a mail order bride or your parents being in a cult because um NOBODY BELIEVES YOU. yeah my family is weird too. but i'm not going to go around telling people those kinds of stories, even if they are true, because that's kind of personal and really unecessary for anyone else to know. and what makes you think it's polite to carry on cell phone conversations in PUBLIC especially if they're incredibly unimportant? sometimes you and i would be in the middle of a conversation, be it important or trivial, and you would have the nerve to answer your goddamn phone! and you wouldn't even say "oh sorry i'm out with a friend" or "i'm driving down the shore with my friend's FAMILY"! you would stay on the phone! for a half hour! until you finally looked around and realized you were hanging out with somebody else! unless it's a pretty goddamn important conversation, and i'm talking life or death here, GET OFF THE FUCKING PHONE.

and hey, what makes you think that you could be friends with dan and matt and zack after you and eli broke up? especially after what you did to eli, which was basically dump him so you could go run and smoke and gallivant around philly to your heart's content? danmattzack NEVER LIKED YOU TO BEGIN WITH. ask them. it's true. they only put up with you because of your connection to eli, and even then, sometimes they had to really push themselves to be nice. same with me, and samantha, amelia, mike, and all the rest of us.

um, and as for all of us 'being jewish' or 'cherry hill just being filled with jews' or whatever the fuck you said MAY I KINDLY REMIND YOU THAT ELI IS JEWISH. if you hate us that much, move the fuck away. we won't miss you! at all! good riddance! bye! go stay in your buddy's apartment in philly if life here is soooooooo bad! our religious beliefs have NOTHING to do with the kind of people we are. and speaking of religion, maybe you should take a goddamn look at yourself! miss little "omg i am sooo christian" and now you're running around smoking drinking going to gay clubs and lord know what else? oh come on. shut the fuck up. and you know, we read your journal because it's funny as hell. not because we actually give a shit about you. well, no, i guess to some extent we do -- but only to laugh. you're STUPID. i could go on for days but i really don't have any more time to waste on this after school special drama.

OH and by the by -- if you don't like a band, it's totally fine to tell us. don't say "oh em gee i love interpol" and then when you actually hear a song by them, have the nerve to say "hey who's that??" IF YOU LIKE THEM YOU WOULD KNOW.

so basically, eli, i'm sorry that ruth had to happen to you. i wasn't a saint either, but at least i can realize that. if you really believe that she's not as bad as the rest of us can easily see, then fine. be friends with her. get back together with her. do whatever the hell you want. but i'm not going to talk to you until you've made up your mind.

and as for you, ruth, when you get to hell -- tell hitler that he's a shmuck. also, happily, none of us jews will be there, contrary to popular beliefs -- we've got our own little paradise called gehenna. so thankfully, i no longer have to see you in real life.. or afterwards. and if you do nothing but sit there and laugh at all of us, then that's your decision. but i know i'm right, and i'm not the only one. bye!

and p.s. dr. vivone? yeah. HE NEVER LIKED YOU, EITHER.

(6 worshipped jeff, the god of biscuits | roman gods were kind of crap)

[29 Jul 2004|03:42pm]
[ mood | thankful ]

i am officially a licensed driver!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(14 worshipped jeff, the god of biscuits | roman gods were kind of crap)

an announcement, if you will. [27 Jan 2004|10:42pm]
closed 4 bizness

this is my new journal. i originally intended to keep it wide-open (kind of like my legs) to the public until i saw a reason to deem it otherwise, but, i think i'ma start out privately instead. just because. if i added you as a friend, it is because, well, we're secretly in love. although i guess it's really no longer a secret.. hm. add me back if you care to. & yes, in case you're still bewitched, bothered, & bewildered, this is andrea (previously known as pineapplebandit to some others).

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